I will never be whole again

Matthew - I am so sorry to hear about Hana. Sending you lots of Love and Light. 

Hey Matthew. Thanks for sharing this with us. I honor your feelings and pain…hugs.

Matthew……I have a lil Shitzu that I have come to love like one of my children…..I know I would feel the same as you if I lost him.  Your pain is great because you dared enough to love much.  Keep loving much…..I am sure Hana would want that.

Heidi

She lives on and you will always be connected.

My heart goes out to you, Matthew!  I know how very bonded we become with our animal companions / elemental familiars … I offer you my condolences and send you healing energy to get through your current challenge.  Hana has not gone away; just the physical vessel in which she choose to share this life experience with you.  Whispers on the wind, the warm caress of the sunshine… these are just a couple of the places she will stil be with you.

No not Hana that is so sad :( 

May  the healing powers of  the Divine be with you : )

PEACE & LOVE      JOY : )

I am crying with you ~Matthew,

My heart is breaking with you ~Matthew

Please consider adoping a homeless kitty

Who will help to heal your heart. 

Matthew

HANA NEVER LEFT

Hana never came

Hana is something you re create now without the element of form.

But now you have a template an example something palpable to create.

Hana had a big appointment…

Hana was teaching you a lesson ..

Hana does nto want to have to teach that lesson again…it was a challenge even for hana.

You did get it!

Now no more pity What about a hana party ( Noticed I ahve changed the spelling on the name) There is a reason.

And yes these sentient beings are around for a while..I once had a large wooly water spaniel that disappeared and an intuitive told me he was there when I saw the bed depress when he jumped into the bed with me at times. The memory is the real thing. The emotion
is a deep relationship…

And Hana would like some joy now Do it for hana
experience Joy and health. for hana

Sun

so sorry to hear about this matthew, my condolences!

I love you and I know that Hana is still alive in your heart.  It's clear in this mail.  She may no longer have a gross body but her spirit is with us today.   

 Keep loving, and keep loving her.  

You are communicating with her this very second, ~Matthew.

She is feeling your sorrow and your love. she is receiving the love of everyone who reads about her and write here to you. she is, her essense is always present within you, talk with her, write to her, be still while you hold the pen in hand & you will feel her presense, her feelings, her connection with you. Being open and receptive (as you are now) and you will know you are 'in thought' 'in feeling' with her.

your love is the connection. 

Mathew, I am so saddened to hear of your loss.  May the Great Comforter enfold you and hold you in Heartbeat  of God until you can feel  your own once again.

Not my words, but Gibran's, “the deeper sorrow etches into your being; the more joy you can contain.” 

Sending love and prayers,

Alexandrite

Oh, Matthew, I am so sorry, My tears are flowing, too. I once lost a dear, dear kitty to a fox attack. Can you believe that? The night she disappeared forever, our neighbor said they saw a fox in and out of our yard on several occasions.

If we had known there were foxes, well, we probably wouldn't have done anything differently except maybe make sure she was in before dusk every night. There is no way Marmalade would have been happy as a house cat. She would have been miserable.  

Please don't blame yourself. I lost a dog last year because I had no idea they could get lyme disease and die from the complications. I blamed myself for a long time for that one. One thing I did right away was adopt another dog (and she has the lyme disease vaccine). For one thing, our cat Soccer would have been bored stiff without a dog around and for another, so many dogs and cats die every day in horrible high-kill shelters. I have a friend who rescues them, nurses them back to health, and then fosters them out until they can get a permanent home. Now I am in love again with our sweet dog Reina. When you're ready, I hope you will open your heart to another beautiful animal.  

Just really know that you musn't blame yourself. Hana doesn't. She loves you still.

XXOO

Diane 

I have felt your pain and suffering all too often, but for you ~Matthew, I will feel it again so that you won't have to.  Anything Loved or Loving cannot die, only transform.  Raise your energy and you will see that she is holding you now, like you held her.  Know this. 

E Buzz solemn…

I believe that, as E-Buzz stated, anything loved or loving cannot die, only transform.

I'd like to put that aside for now, though, to express that my heart aches for you.  I've felt  what you mean when you say “I don't ever want this pain to go away.” 

Feel the pain and share your sadness, and seek comfort.  Express your anger at the incompetence and insensitivity of those who could have helped to prevent this.  Let your emotions go and come and go…and you will start to heal.

Love and light, Matthew. 

Matthew - You are in my thoughts.  I too have lost several pets over the past years - it hurts; deeply.  I share and honor your grieving process.

Big hugs to you Matthew -I have lost beloved kitty cats too- I lost my baby Gremlin he was  my bestest friend -he slept with me and watched over me while my hubby was in boot camp -Gremlin was my hero -we lost him to a stroke- I loved him and then I honored him by taking in another baby to love ..

Hana's love is part of you… and yes you can certainly connect with her simply through your thoughts… try during meditation and see what happens…

I was going to write something comforting, but I can’t stop crying.

Well, no, I see your question now. Yes it is. It’s hard though. Your feelings and the timeframe are sensitive. If you read the post I had about my friend you’ll get it. It’s happened with cats too, just usually more tactle sensations across the legs but I talk.

Sit in the middle of the floor or the yard if you can get the mood and let go. Just sit. Stop waiting. If you let go of it, she’ll come.

I’m telling you this knowing this works but also that it would take a lot. But it’s the way. Mourning and pain send them on thier way. I hope you can feel her soon.

Dear Matthew and Ayako,

She is always there. I lost one of my dearest friends and I had to work so hard to combine my spiritual beliefs with the earthy unbearable pain and feelings of loss. I still miss her in this dimension.

But I really do feel she is always there - once I swear she popped up next to me in the car. Music was playing and I wanted to turn that off so we could 'talk'. Then I heard 'a voice saying'; 'I'm not here to talk - just to remind you I'm always there' (we had been in the car to work together with music on quite often). Then the feeling/experience of her presence was gone. Just like that, just like how it had suddenly appeared.

First I wanted to find someone to make contact with her but then I realised she knows it all and there is certainly nothing to be sorry for (I was, for some stuff).

I do not underestimate your pain - just wanted to share something that helped me and may help you two a tiny teeny bit - I hope!!

Love to you, Hana awaits on the other side of the next door, as always…for you.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Heather

You know that she and you are both the same timelessness and she is always with you and a part of you.  You know that even when joy is hard to find on the inside, a new and radiant source is just around the corner.  You know these things.  You are eternally blessed.

Love,

~S.

Condolences :o(

It is time to suffer, cry and miss; healing time will come later. You are with her connected in an eternal meanless way and so powerful impossible to describe. Better times will come … I am sorry for you

Sending you, Ayako and Hana Love and Peace

So sorry to hear, Matthew.

Love

Nomali

My condolonces.  We have a gray tabby who is a source of much joy.  Our heart goes out to you.

Joe 

~ much love to u matthew and ayako ~

i am really sorry to hear this! sending you love! monad.

My dear Earth brother, Matthew,

Losing those we love, wrenches away a part of us. It is a time to grieve, a time to cry, a time to be with your hurt and your loss.

Even though we have all lost a precious one we cannot know YOUR pain, or fix it. We can surround you with light and love and hold a sacred, healing space for you, and take on some of your pain.

The deeper the pain the deeper the love, the more time it takes to soften the loss of that being in our lives.

This is the way of being alive in this realm for me. I have learned much of living, of dying, yet I cannot love with all I am, and not grieve with that same intensity and passion.

It will come to you that Hana is still with you. She shared her love and her life with you and your sweet wife. Love never dies, “I am” never dies. These body bags we get around in do. Love, once created is part of all that is, for….ever.

Do not blame anyone, not the mgt .company, not the coyotes, not you. Laying blame stops healing. We make agreements to visit Earth. We have lessons to learn, experiences to live, and when this is done, we leave. I am not at all fussed with the barbaric way we check out. I do not know the reason. I wish I did. I do know that blame and anger get in the way of healing.

I know that love heals a fractured bodymind, spirit and heart. You have such love in your family, and in zaadz. Breathe it in Matthew. Allow love to wash over you, into you. Hana, you know, would be so sad to think you felt so wretched, day after day. She would want you to be happy, as she always did. Honor her, love her, be with her. Let go of her. She is on her own journey.

Enjoy the memory of the wondrous time you had together. We only have NOW.

Watch for the silver lining behind this black cloud, Matthew. Allow Hana to give you her greatest gift.

Life is harsh, Sweet Friend. Love is the key. You are loved. Allow the grief to drip into Mother Earth, breathe in her healing prana, allow the life force of Father Sun to bring light into the dark sadness of your heart.

You are alive NOW Matthew. Love Hana and Live. There are others who, like Hana, love you.

mitakuye oyasin         a jaguar

Dearest matthew and ayako

I know how you feel, having lost my teddy bear a couple days ago, I still feel him around me at times. when I don't I am fairly certain he is gone to ravenblackwolf's house to check on his bonded buddy bullet.

I also lost another wonderful furry friend, two years ago, his name was Yoda Bear. I feel him regularly looking out for me.

please know that I am here with you on this, you are not alone
with all my love (and if you need email me) and support to you and your partner.

White Wolf

thanks for sharing your sadness and love, helping make it ok for me to feel my own…

I just came across this - I read Ayako's post as well. I still think of our kitty who died last July 4 every single day and I still cry.
I left a note on Ayako's post also, but I just wanted to share this with you too, that if you have a cat again and let it go outside, bring it in before dusk even in an area without coyotes. It's really important. Every area has predators bigger than kitties. (The only way to train a cat to reliably come in then is to offer all the food for the day only just before dusk and take it up in the morning)
I cried reading your post. It's very much what I felt for quite awhile.