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aftershocks
January 2010 
Aftershocks
Posted on Feb 22nd, 2006
by 
~Matthew
~Matthew
One of the things that attracted me to Ken Wilber's fluffy philosophy was his knowledge of Spirit-evolution. When I was 19--just two years after the discovery of my brain tumor--there were times when I would feel pretty damaged. I remember feeling pretty down at times, and what made the hurt really sting was my interpretation of what had happened. I felt like I had survived on accident. That is to say, when it came to "survival of the fittest," I was supposed to be one of the weaker links that Nature was trying to weed out, so that our species could become stronger. I was a weed in Nature's eyes. That's not a real fun way to feel about oneself, to say the least.
I remember one day my mom asked me why I looked so blue, and I said, "Because, Mom, Nature tried to kill (*whince) me." I looked through the water covering my eyes and saw tears rolling down her cheeks. In all her motherly love for her son, she felt my pain--my hurt. "Why doesn't Nature want to keep me?"
And from a non-fluffy point of view, that might seem like an accurate, though sad, way to look at it. But if technological/informational advancement is understood to be Spirit-evolution, then almost the exact opposite point of view seems to assert itself--that Spirit (Nature), in its current capacity attempted to, and succeeded at, saving my life. Spirit embraced me in all my imperfections and asked me to continue with my purpose. And here I am in the Zaadz community... continuing my purpose.
In a couple of days, I will be posting the chapter that Brian asked me to write for Zaadz. It is, in all its imperfections, my attempt at describing Zaadz as an AQAL business model. I'll be asking for your help in revising it!
Much Love,
Matthew
I remember one day my mom asked me why I looked so blue, and I said, "Because, Mom, Nature tried to kill (*whince) me." I looked through the water covering my eyes and saw tears rolling down her cheeks. In all her motherly love for her son, she felt my pain--my hurt. "Why doesn't Nature want to keep me?"
And from a non-fluffy point of view, that might seem like an accurate, though sad, way to look at it. But if technological/informational advancement is understood to be Spirit-evolution, then almost the exact opposite point of view seems to assert itself--that Spirit (Nature), in its current capacity attempted to, and succeeded at, saving my life. Spirit embraced me in all my imperfections and asked me to continue with my purpose. And here I am in the Zaadz community... continuing my purpose.
In a couple of days, I will be posting the chapter that Brian asked me to write for Zaadz. It is, in all its imperfections, my attempt at describing Zaadz as an AQAL business model. I'll be asking for your help in revising it!
Much Love,
Matthew
Access: Public
You are such a blessing to us all here at Zaadz. Thank you for being that wonderful, shining presence. Nature/Spirit got it absolutely right by continuing to add your brilliance to the world!
Matt I’m quite excited to see what you have come up with on this project. With your writing talents and understanding of things integral, I’m sure it will be great. I for one am grateful to have you as a core member of the community so early on. You one of those ‘attractors’ that just brings everyone else to a deeper place, whether it’s through your humor, your depth of insight, or your personal experiences that have touched us all. You do shine, as Nancy said, and I do feel blessed to know you , if only through Zaadz and a few emails.
“That is to say, when it came to “survival of the fittest,” I was supposed to be one of the weaker links that Nature was trying to weed out, so that our species could become stronger. I was a weed in Nature’s eyes.”
man, that has got to be one of the most depressing thing i’ve ever read. but your existence and presence here balances it out. even tips the scale on the positive side.
keep the faith my friend. nobody knows what the future holds, but i think you’re young enough for Humanity 2.0 :)
Nancy, it’s no wonder Brian blogged about you. YOU are a blessing to ME. Thank you!
Ryan, I am grateful, as well, to have you here as part of the Zaadz team. You and Yuri have both been wonderful in my Zaadz immersion. Thank you!
Coolmel, we’ll see…